December 9, 2019

Ormond Beach, Florida Sunrise

My recent diagnosis of RA, yet another autoimmune disorder has rocked my world harder than I can grasp or understand. In a lot ways the diagnoses has brought comfort and clarity. I thought I was going crazy with all the pain in my neck, back, and legs. I thought I was being a wimp and had lost all of my skills to overcome pain. Now I know there is a reason, a good reason for what my body has been screaming to me for the past couple of years. 

I spent yesterday walking the beach, splashing in the waves, soaking up the sun and reconnecting with my guardian angel, KC. Early in the day the idea that came to light was, "I can not control what my body is doing to me, but I can control what I do to my body." 

I spent the rest of the day trying to cipher out what that statement meant to me. One of the key components is that I have to keep moving. Over the past couple of years I have let the pain keep me from running, swimming, hiking, yoga, and all other things that require movement. It deeply sadness me to feel some of those things are forever gone in my future, but not all of them. My legs hurt like the devil today due to the 4.5 miles Beethoven and I walked on the beach yesterday, but I can take this pain. So, running is out, but maybe long walks are still in. Hiking is definitely out, but maybe bike riding is not. Swimming is out, but maybe paddle boarding is in? Yoga for sure can be in if I can find a class and teacher I enjoy and does not cause more damage. 

So, what do my tomorrows look like? They look a bit brighter now. 

I have accepted I can not control what my body is doing to me, but I am can control what I do to my body. 

Beauty Nails and Spa 

Alex, the owner was amazing and a treat to chat with. Beethoven was whimpering having to lie on the hard tile so Alex went in the back and produced a small rug for Beethoven to lay on. Yes, he had Alex wrapped around his not so little paw within minutes.  I wanted to share this because I forget how amazing it is to be pampered by a stranger. 

Enjoy your day and don't let the bastards get you down!